Sponge bath it is.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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