I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
