Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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