Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Randomize
