Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize