I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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