walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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