You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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