is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Randomize