I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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