i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
