At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
He better not be in your backpack
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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