talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize