Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
