I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
