please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
