when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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