Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
