I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
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It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
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Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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