I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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