i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Randomize
