I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
