So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
