We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
