Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
