No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
