dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
