I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
