hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
