Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize