She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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