The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
home. puking in laundry basket.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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