Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I want to fling myself into the sun
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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