yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
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I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
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i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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