Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
