Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
