We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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