one two three fourrrrnication!
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
