You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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