Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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