This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
