I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
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Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
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That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize