just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
