i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
