if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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