I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
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