So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
