using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I wish I only lived at night.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
