is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I just forgot I was standing up.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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