On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
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