sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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