We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
After last night, I could never be a politician.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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