Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
