Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize