If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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