Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
is that a dick in a sweater?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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