I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
