I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Buhtt sex?
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
