I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
