Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Send help, water and tortillas.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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