I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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