Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord

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(419): View more from Ohio

The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.

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(302): View more from Delaware

It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.

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(503): View more from Oregon

We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Do you know how to give stiches?

(1-612): View more from Minnesota

I do not...this text concerns me

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(847): View more from Illinois

She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night

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(423): View more from Tennessee

I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??

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(831): View more from California

Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.

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