Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm always down for nudity.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
